Guilt By Association

I've really had to wonder the past week and a bit. See, on FetLife a friend (who I would like to think should be a friend) removed me from her friends there. One friend had "broken up" shall we say with her and another friend. So... a few days later because I'm his friend I guess she removes me. Yet I have done nothing to her, said nothing bad about her, and in fact have done nothing but sing her praises!

A person should never use the "guilt by association" thing, especially among friends. I mean there is one crossdresser here in Montreal that for some reason just does not like me. We have mutual friends, I don't go ignoring them or removing them because of it. It's called being a grown up and mature, not a high school level kid. It happens - people have mutual friends, and sometimes friendships go kaput. No reason to hold one persons friendship with another against them!

Site Review: Femdomme Society

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Site Review: LVTG.com

Unless you are into HNG's (horny net geeks) who just really want nothing but cyber and have low intelligence, avoid it like the plague. 1 out of 10 and THAT is generous!

Support sucks, if you have a problem with a member (like I did) they do nothing. There is no blocking feature at all, and when I suggested one, they gave the lame excuse that it would involve a lot of money to change the coding, which as anyone who has a clue knows is utter bullocks.

It's also one of those sites that is like alt.com and anything friendfinder - to do anything you have to pay, free membership is utterly limited.

So unless you're into guys with cock shots as their main pic, avoid and go elsewhere.

Site Review: Red's Realm Of Romantic Restraint

http://reds-realm.net/

This site has been around for years, but sadly, has faltered. It used to rate a 9 out of 10 in my opinion, but now is more like 3 and that is being generous.

Why?

Well, for one, if you want to see any of the good photos and stuff, you have to pay now (when Red started it, it was all free btw). Don't bother. The photos and stuff you pay him for the "privilege" of seeing you can find every single one for FREE. Like the the photos? Go to almost any BDSM or fetish TGP and you will find the same exact photos for free. The vid? Pass. Stories? Barely passable often.

If you're looking for a free BDSM porn fix, go google "BDSM tgp" and you'll get a whack. You're better off there than at Red's.

Some thoughts on being transsexual

Yanno, I get some saying to me "I would so love to be a transsexual" (usually crossdressers or males who have some female clothing fetish of sorts).

Listen. Being transsexual is NOT a "choice" or "lifestyle choice". In reality I am female... I am just stuck between sexes. It should not be a "wish" or "want to" thing, it is a need. A need to change from the sex you were born into, into the one you should have been born into because inside you are that sex and not the outwardly displayed one.

It is not an easy thing. Medical stuff aside, there is a lot of social issues to be considered.

First, no transsexual fully "passes". I hate that word. There is always something that gives it away. Believe me. No amount of "feminizing" surgery will ensure 100% "passing". Things that give it away? Height, shoulders, hands, adams apple, rib structure, feet, nose, chin, brow, receding hairline, voice... and a few others for sure. No amount of feminizing surgery will remove shoulders, chest, hands, feet. Yeah, you can get your brow done, nose, chin, adams apple... but there will be something that will "give you away". I can spot no problem, and so can most.

You "wish you were TS"??? Okay... so you want to be stared at? Insults flung at you? Giggles as you walk by? Being called "sir" even though you are obviously looking female? Perhaps even being physically assaulted just for looking the way you do? Have every person who contacts you on the internet always thinking that you want sex because you are TS and that is all they want from you? You want to lose friends, family, and perhaps even your job? Then yeah, go ahead! lol

Seriously, think on those things FFS. I didn't go through all this and live in the sex I should have been because I wanted or wished for those things. I did it to be happy. Despite losing friends, family and any job hopes, I am happy. Despite the insults, giggles, and even assaults, I am happy. I did it because I needed to. Needed to be me and not live a lie. Don't think on doing it because you "wish" or "would like to be". Do it because of the right reasons.

The BDSM Lifestyle

I find it so odd that a lot of subs/slaves with so many limitations are the ones that get owned. And the hustlers also get (all they are in for is themselves and not the dominant... and will say anything to get one, and I know one personally).

Here I am, someone who is not a hustler, has very few limits, etc, basically someone that any dominant worth their salt would snatch up... and nada yet. Why? Do I have to be a fake to get? That should not be. I am me, I am a slave, and I give EVERYTHING. Seeing so many end up getting owned when they don't deserve it, especially right off without ever even MEETING... is beyond me and makes me laugh - at the Domme and the sub.

I refuse to be a hustler, and refuse to be a fake.

Some thoughts on the veil "issue"

Hmmm... where to start lol.

Well, let me start off with what is becoming a rather overblown issue in the western world. The niqab (or veil). France has passed a law that is discriminatory, Quebec is close to one, and the western countries are all in a hullabaloo over it.

Let me say a few things on this issue.

First, despite what most non-muslims in the west think, it is NOT forced in most cases. Yes, some countries like Saudi Arabia etc do make it mandatory when in public and yes that is not what Islam says (it only says to dress modest for men and modest for women with hair covered) but... in most cases outside of this it is not forced upon the woman. I have spoken with a LOT of women who veil, and they do it by CHOICE.

Second, the garbage that Quebec has been claiming. For instance in regards to the veiled woman who was denied being in a French language course because she refused to remove her veil in the class and asked for "too much accommodation". The teacher claimed that he "needed to see her face" because of seeing the mouth for "elocution". HORSE F***ING HOCKEY. Listen bub, in that case then I guess a blind person cannot be a language teacher because they cannot see? Or a blind person cannot learn to talk because he cannot see? BULLS**T. What is needed to ensure proper elocution is not seeing... it is HEARING. For instance, most deaf people who talk have horrible elocution because they cannot HEAR the person elocute/speak. So that argument right there goes OUT THE WINDOW!

Third, the crap about women in Islam are treated poorly (ie especially in regards to niqabs/burqas). NO. Most Muslim men treat their women a LOT better than Christians or Jews. Muslim men have treated ME a lot better than the majority here in Canada (Christians & Jews) and I am a transsexual woman. In Islam a woman is regarded with the HIGHEST respect, and men are told in the Quran to treat their women pretty much like royalty, ok? Read it. I have, along with the Bible and the Torah.

Fourth, the crap about worrying about "security" with someone totally covered and veiled. Oh good grief grow up and think for once will ya? And NOT fall into the paranoia that Mr Bush & Mr Blair have created since 9/11. In that case, in winter, NO ONE will be allowed to enter anything but their own home without taking off balaclava's, scarfs, and winter jackets. Then no one should be allowed to cross dress in public because gee, they might be doing it to deceive and commit a crime! (and THAT argument has been used by border officials to deny transsexuals entry into the US, Canada and UK!!!!) Listen, the niqabis I have spoken with have NO problem to show their face for things like showing passport, banking, etc... BUT... most do not want to show their face to a MALE. Some accommodation has to be made, and that is not a hard one to ask for is it?

Do I veil? Yes. I find it gives me peace. Just like what the niqabis I know feel. Ideally I am judged not on my appearance (even if I am good looking) but rather on my PERSON. That is, ideally. Sadly, in the western world (USA, Canada, UK, Europe...) if I wear total covering... I am judged on that. We in the western world have to learn to accept and understand different cultures. We don't. We preach it that we do, but we don't. It's sad. It's like we'd rather live in ignorance, and just throw our beliefs out there as being the *only* beliefs that are right... and that is WRONG. North America was built on immigration, and different cultures coming together. We treated the natives horrible, the blacks, the Chinese, the Japanese... because of one thing - they were not of WHITE EUROPEAN DESCENT. Plain and simple. And that is why we are treating the Muslims so bad. We never learn.